Why do people depend on each other?
In the end you're on your own
I'm fine by myself now
I have all the skills I need to survive
I'm not a child anymore ..
That's a lie
I don't know anything
I'm confused
I don't want to depend on anyone
How can i do that ?
Someone tell me .. Someone?
So i'll end up depending on other after all .
Tot i shouLd hav bLogged ytd...but my sis was at home...LoLz...oh weLL... well...apparentLy...she doesn't noes dat i hav a bLog...untiL ytd dat is... hahaz...but i stiLL refused to teLL her my bLog addy...
I'm nt sure y...guess i juz dun wan her to noe dat i'm actuaLLy dat troubLed sometimes...she has gt enuff probs of her own...:)
aLrite...to kick things off...
i went to catch a movie Last sat...Vacancy...hmm..its nt dat fantastic considering the fact dat i was scared by some scenes (in case u duno...i've been afraid of watching horror n thriLLer shows since young...LoLz) and pretty disturbed by some too... Rating: 2.8 out of 5 stars....hahaz...
Hmm...my company is under going some very Lame cost restructuring shit... My dept...there's dis new ger...she's gonna Leave soon and they r nt gonna find repLacement...hoe bad is dat...some of her stuffs r pushed to my aLready overloaded work burden...LoLz...
ApparentLy...the company wants us to be more cost effective from noe on....get a Life!...hahaz... And then there's this buyer who's gonna Leave soon...aLready went for severaL interviews openLy...even my manager noes...hahaz..power...
Mi?...i do hav pLans on Leaving too...hahaz...the workLoad's getting heavier...i juz mite Leave if i cannot take it any Longer...hahaz...
there's gonna be minor saLary adjustment for some of us soon...i wunder wouLd it be mi...its juz a smaLL amt...tink Less den $50?...den i've dis coLLeague who says he bu xi han dis smaLL increment...hahaz...den i was Like...u dun wan den gimme yer share Loz...LoLz...
Jie...i just feeL dat u shouLd go out and c hoe other companies functions 1st...dun let emotions ruLe yer mind...tink LogicaLLy...its good to go out and Learn more...u wun get the chance once u r oLder Loz...:)
However...the uLtimate decision stiLL Lies with you ba...i'LL support yer decision... Aniway...good luck in yer fri's interview!...pLs prepare though...its gd to be prepared...:)...afteraLL...if u reaLLie wan something...you hav to fight for it and put in a LiL more effort....
i'm reaLLie excited bout the HK trip! i'm reaLLie worried bout the HK trip!
hahaz...wats gonna happen?...wiLL it be fun?...wat shouLd i bring?...wiLL i forget anything?...LoLz...
so much stuffs to do...i'm gonna read up more on HK dis weekend to be beta prepared!...shopping!...food!...here i come!...LoLz...
Much anticipated...not sure hoe the rest feeL...tink ceb muz b bored of it aLready...LoLz...HK so many times....
Ceb...i've read yer bLog....Like i say...i've always been enLightened by your entry...its reaLLie disheartening to noe dat u r cLosing it...
Thru your postings... You've taught me very important lessons in life... You've made me reaLized of the bLessings i hav in life... You've made me appreciate some things dat i nv wouLd hav thought of otherwise... You've shown me how to be a friend...
Thank you for aLL the things...you might not hav reaLize but it has reaLLie created an impact in my heart....
And yer Last entry in regards to a 6-yr-oLd being toLd of the Loss of Loved ones directLy...it reaLLie saddening...
I guess i wouLdn't noe hoe he wouLd feeL but if i myseLf aLready feeL so sadden...he muz hav been pretty traumatized and heart wrenched....
My heart reaLLie goes aLL out to him....
FeeLings r reaLLie a strange reaction i guess....i've nv seen this LiL boy b4....and yet i feeL so much for him....
Dis song beLow...is hoe it wouLd actuaLLy describe my feeLings now...
PLay the song again...and read the meaningfuL lyrics as the song goes aLong...
HopefuLLy after dis entry...you wouLd Learn to cherish more of who's ard you rite now and count yr bLessings...its quite touching...enjoy...:~)
Tamyra Gray - Dance with my Father (OriginaL singer: Luther Vandross but i prefer Tamyra Gray's version...:P)
Back when I was a chiLd, before Life removed aLL the innocence My father would Lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then Spin me around 'tiLL I feLL asLeep Then up the stairs he wouLd carry me And I knew for sure I was Loved
If I couLd get another chance, another waLk, another dance with him I'd pLay a song that would never, ever end How I'd Love, Love, Love To dance with my father again
When I and my mother wouLd disagree To get my way, I wouLd run from her to him He'd make me Laugh just to comfort me Then finaLLy make me do just what my mother said Later that night when I was asLeep He Left a dollar under my sheet Never dreamed that he wouLd be gone from me
If I couLd steal one finaL gLance, one finaL step, one finaL dance with him I'd pLay a song that wouLd never, ever end 'Cause I'd Love, Love, Love To dance with my father again
(Sometimes I'd Listen outside her door And I'd hear how my mother cried for him I pray for her even more than me I pray for her even more than me I know I'm praying for much too much But couLd you send back the onLy man she Loved I know you don't do it usuaLLy But dear Lord she's dying To dance with my father again Every night I faLL asleep and this is aLL I ever dream)
CasaNova's TeaRs, 0115 Hours
Squall Leonheart...
*12:02 AM .
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Hi aLL...
U muz be wundering...y am i bLogging on such a morning...LoLz...
ActuaLLy i wanted to deLete my prev. entry...but i reaLized dat both Liang Dianz hav read aLready...so...oh weLL...
To Ceb...I'm not sure y u wana cLose down yer bLog...but i reaLLie do wish dat u wiLL continue...bcuz i aLways enjoyed reading every singLe entry...i hav aLways feeL enLightened in a way or another after each entry...so keep continuing ok?...:)
Hmm...i have been thinking...and i finaLLy reaLized dat the probLem do Lies with me...
Perhaps...i've not been a very good fren afteraLL... Perhaps...i do not know everyone weLL enough at aLL...
I aLso yearn for a simpLe frenship Life...y do we aLways have to compLicate things?...is this the way of things?...
Jie...i wana reassure you dat no matter wat happens...you'll still b my best of best frenz...nothings gonna change dat... perhaps you hav think like wise... perhaps...my actions hav aLways seemed couLn't care Less... perhaps my words hav sometimes been hurting...
You shouldn't keep dweLLing on the past and see the mistakes that we...or esp i have made...bcuz...i do beLieve that they are aLready the past and wouLdn't constitutes to now...
Like they say...nian shao wu zhi...LoLz...
With regards to ytd's thing...it doesnt bother mi so much animore... in fact...i've been thinking dat i'm behaving Like some chiLdish brat...it is indeed a dinner and outing onLi...y do i hav to Let it bother mi so much...(but the fact that it reaLLie bothered mi ytd shows that i reaLLie treasure dis frenship)...
I reaLLie hope to make things rite again...sometimes i juz duno hoe to go about doing it...
sometimes i juz forgot about doing it...
i reaLLie duno wat's wrong wif mi...this is one of the things that i wana do...but i juz didnt action on...
i guess i'm juz nt firm enuff wif wat i wan in Life?...
Jie...i'm nt bothered wif ytd's animore...in fact...i'm feeLing good today aLready... i understand dat u hav yer own things as weLL... i understand dat u hav STM (read short term memory) as weLL...(not to mention dat u forgot bout my b day dis yr...:P) i understand dat u r not obLiged to teLL mi everything as weLL... i understand dat u wana do some sister bonding wif Ceb as weLL...(heLL, u dun tink i was going to sister bond wif u guys...LoLz...)
I'm trying to be more understanding and c things frm everyone's pt of view...
it's nt easy bcuz i am not you or he or she...i am juz myseLf... but from dis entry...u can at Least sense dat i'm trying...
Let's do some expLaining rite noe... Ytd's...i do wana join u guys so much...its juz dat...i've kinda Lost the mood aLready...i dun wan u aLL waiting for mi too coz i wasn't at aLL prepared (you guys noe hoe Long i wouLd take juz to get ready...:P...i shant go into further detaiLs about dat)... Aniway...dis issue's nt so much of a big prob i guess...
What's reaLLie been bothering you and mi is actuaLLy the chomp's incident i guess... I guess you juz wouLdn't beLieve dat i didn't bad-mouthed you...sigh... i've toLd you the main reason aLready but i guess u juz dun buy it....
Some things...no amt of expLanation wouLd heLp...once a stereotyped sort of tot in impLanted in the mind...its juz wun go away...the haLo effect...hahaz..
Oh weLL...enuff for now...Signing off...
Good Enough (Piano SoLo) - Sarah McLachLan
Hey your gLass is empty It's a heLL of a Long way home Why don't you Let me take you It's no good to go aLone I never wouLd have opened up But you seemed so real to me And after aLL the buLLshit I've heard It's refreshing not to see That I don't have to pretend She doesn't expect it from me
So, don't teLL me I haven't been good to you Don't teLL me I have never been there for you Just don't teLL me why Nothing is good enough
Hey Little girl wouLd you Like some candy Your momma said that it's OK The door is open come on outside No I can't come out today It's not the wind that cracked your shouLder And threw you to the ground Who's there that makes you so afraid You're shaken to the bone Ya know I don't understand You deserve so much more than this
So don't teLL me why He's never been good to you Don't teLL me why He's never been there for you Don't you know that why Is simpLy not good enough
So just Let me try And I wiLL be good to you Just Let me try And I wiLL be there for you I'LL show you why you're so much more than good enough
So just Let me try And I wiLL be good to you Just Let me try And I wiLL be there for you I'LL show you why you're so much more than good enough
CasaNova's TeaRs, 1045 Hours
Squall Leonheart...
*9:35 AM .
Saturday, July 21, 2007
SimpLe PLan - Perfect
Hey Dad Look at me Think back and taLk to me Did I grow up according To plan? Do you think I’m wasting My time doing things I Wanna do? But it hurts when you Disapprove aLL along
And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I’m never gonna be good Enough for you I can’t pretend that I’m aLright And you can’t change me
‘Cuz we Lost it aLL Nothing Lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too Late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
I try not to think About the pain I feeL inside Did you know you used to be My hero? ALL the days You spent with me Now seem so far away And it feeLs Like you don’t Care anymore
And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I’m never gonna be good Enough for you I can’t stand another fight And nothing’ aLright
‘Cuz we Lost it aLL Nothing Lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too Late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
Nothing’s gonna change The things that you said Nothing’s gonna make this Right again PLease don’t turn your back I can’t beLieve it’s hard Just to talk to you But you don’t understand
‘Cuz we Lost it aLL Nothing Lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too Late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
‘Cuz we Lost it aLL Nothing Lasts forever I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect Now it’s just too Late And we can’t go back I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect
Hi...in this entry...i've decided to go very frank and direct...no more games guessing and beating ard the bushes....
i can't describe how i feeL rite now...a mixture of soLemnness, depression, disappointment, sadness aLL mixed up together...and definiteLy heart-wrenching...
a Lot of things..i wouLd always act non-chaLant and say nvm to it...but deep down in my heart...i reaLLie cared a Lot...and it definiteLy matters a Lot to me...
Jie...had i not read Ceb's bLog...i wouLdn't noe dat u guys wouLd b going out today w/o mi...not to mention ytd...
I noe...u guys wouLd tink nothing of it...its juz a dinner n outing...
Gosh...i reaLLie duno...if i didnt sms u today...does it mean dat i'LL b forgotten...
This tot...this feeLing of heLpLessness....is too much for mi to withheLd...
I dun wana surpressed my feeLings animore... I dun wana run away frm this prob animore...
It's been a Long treacherous 7 months...and everyday...i wouLd juz tink about it...
Does our ten yrs of frenship reaLLie mean nothing aLready?...Is it not gonna withstand the test of time?...
I reaLLie tot dat we have bonded weLL and cLose in the past...naiveLy...dats not the case...
I've reaLLie no idea where to go from here...
To Jie and Ceb...I've reaLized dat i'm always Left out from your mini gatherings...was it intentional?...or was it with good intentions?...i seriousLy duno...
Is it becuz of Xu's dat side?...
I can teLL you guys sincereLy dat...both groups r equaLLy impt to me...
Jie and Ceb...i reaLLie do not wish to know dat u guys r distancing yerseLf frm mi bcuz of Xu...
Xu and SY...same goes to you too...
Guys...i reaLLie feeL dat we should sit down and tok 1 Last time...and den decide where we go from there...whether you aLL become 2 separate grps frm den on or patch back...at Least there's an ans and end to it....I'm reaLLie tired of this ambiguity of not knowing u guys wana get back together or nt...
I've aLways been plagued by frenship woes... 1st cai.... then my army frenz... now this...
What's reaLLie going on?...Does the probLem reaLLie Lies with mi?
I've stiLL got so much to say...but i dun tink can carry on animore...its too much for mi to handLe rite noe...
SimpLe PLan - UntitLed
I open my eyes I try to see but I'm bLinded By the white Light I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm Lying here tonight And I can't stand the pain And I can't make it go away No I can't stand the pain
How couLd this happen to me? I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this Life I just wanna scream How couLd this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound But no one hears me I'm sLipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again So I try to hold onto A time when nothing mattered And I can't expLain what happened And I can't erase the things that I've done No I can't
How couLd this happen to me? I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this Life I just wanna scream How couLd this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this Life I just wanna scream How couLd this happen to me?
CasaNova's TeaRs, 1330 Hours
Squall Leonheart...
*12:28 PM .
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Hi... Its bLogging time again...
Hmm...tot i hav some time b4 gg out...so i should do some updates....:)
Gonna ceLebrate mudder's b day Later...hope she'LL Like wat we pLanned...nothing fancifuL...juz a simpLe dinner...but dat alone can b as fuLfiLLing as a grand dinner...i hope...hahaz...
i'm not gonna explain why onli aunty and mi is invited...i tink Let the queen do it herseLf beta...hahaz...sometimes...explaining more juz wouLd make the matter Looked worse...
Hmm...the trip's been cfmed...wif everything more or Less settled?...or mayb nt?...hahaz...there's so much dat i stiLL need to do...hahaz...i beta plan my To-do List and everything earLi...so excited!...Like a chiLd Lidat...:P
Ceb...reaLLie wana say a big thank you again...thanks for aLL the effort!...next time giv u a hug!...:)
I had a big tiff wif my sis on friday...she's getting more and more unreasonabLe... gosh...i seLdom throw temper at peopLe...so wen i throw temper...it reaLLie means i'm reaLLie upset...
She's getting frm bad to worse....sigh...Long stoy...everything aLways had to begin wif her new bf...if onLi i couLd turn back time...
There are a Lot of things that we do on impulse and den regret wen we Looked back... "Y haven i done it this way?"... "Why do i have to react in this way?"... "Why didn't i be more proactive"... "Why didn't i c it coming?"... "Why do i let my heart take over my brain sometimes?"...
a Lot of whys but no ans...
Esp the Last sentence...sometimes going wif yer heart makes u very impuLsive... impuLsive = no LogicaL thinking...acts of fooLishness, seLfishness often foLLows...
I guess there's no right or wrong to it for some instances...
La da da da da The smeLL of your skin Lingers on me now Your probabLy on your fLight back to your home town I need some sheLter of my own protection baby To be with myself and center, cLarity Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personaL, MyseLf and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you Like a chiLd misses their bLanket But I've got to get a move on with my Life It's time to be a big girL now And big girLs don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry
The path that I'm waLking I must go aLone I must take the baby steps untiL I'm fuLL grown FairytaLes don't aLways have a happy ending, do they And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personaL, MyseLf and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you Like a chiLd misses their bLanket But I've got to get a move on with my Life It's time to be a big girL now And big girLs don't cry
Like the LittLe schooL mate in the schooL yard We'LL pLay jacks and uno cards I'LL be your best friend and you'LL be mine VaLentine Yes you can hoLd my hand if u want to Cause I want to hoLd yours too We'LL be pLaymates and Lovers and share our secret worLds But it's time for me to go home It's getting Late, dark outside I need to be with myseLf and center, cLarity Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personaL, MyseLf and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you Like a chiLd misses their bLanket But I've got to get a move on with my Life It's time to be a big girL now And big girLs don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da
"The siLence of a distant figure breathes coLdness into the heart of an aching souL..." (Originated from me!...:P)
CasaNova's TeaRs, 1530 Hours
Squall Leonheart...
*1:55 PM .
Friday, July 13, 2007
Hi there... tank you for your visit today...Take a moment and try the test beLow...:)
Jay's new movie wiLL b out soon...so excited!...hahaz...cant wait... n i tink he's coming to s'pore dis month end...hmm...1 day onLi...for some promotionaL activities...
Updates yet again~...i'LL keep dis entry short...
I juz did a presentation last friday...hahaz...critics given pretty gd for my speech...but feLt i couLd do beta...my Buyer Loz...go Shanghai den i gotta stand in for her...LoL...but it was a nice exp...n another step cLoser to my promotion...hahaz...*fingers crossed*
Ytd was a speciaL day...07/07/2007... a speciaL day for many coupLes-to-be...(tink got 70,000 pLus coupLes tying their knot to dis special day...7 was afteraLL considered Lucky in the US)
a speciaL day for the earth... Lots of concerts (LIVE EARTH) too...aLL aimed at global warming...but it gt me thinking...u r holding so many concerts...is the aim reaLLy there...hoe much do they care aniway...not to mention that more heat is generated frm the concert...aLL the Lightings...hahaz...
Hmm...and i've received my 1st reservist notification Le...so sianz...scheduLed to b mid Nov for 2 weeks...yucks!...hahaz...i tink it wiLL b a xiong 1st reservist wif aLL the high keys and mayb dig trench?...doubLe yucks!
Lamenting again...weLL...i guess dat's Life!
I'm Looking forward to the trip...hahaz...have aLready pLanned a bit for the itinerary...:P
JuLy shouLd b more or Less peacefuL aLready...no more OTs i hope...hahaz...
This month's atrium...hmm...Let's hope it'LL meet the saLes target...hahaz...the Last one nv...sianz...beta pray hard....its gonna affect my KPI (Key Performance Indicator) afteraLL...
Hmm...k...dats aLL for the updates for now...
Jie...i know u r in a predicament now...but u reaLLie hav to be firm of what u wan Loz...if u wan quit...den do it...:P
Hmm...here i m teLLing others but i cant seemed to put myseLf to preach...LoLz...i guess dats me...
Mudder...happie beLated bday...i'm nt sure if u wana ceLebrate dis yr but i'm aLready pLanning a present for u...:)
Ceb...r u feeLing beta aLready?...yer sickness i mean...LoLz...pai seh Lehz...u sick stiLL ask u do so many things...no wunder u nt very in the mood Last week...Cheer up ok!....if u feeL bored can caLL mi de...den i can bore u even more to sLeep...:P
Ok peeps...signing off...dinner time!...More updates to come!...stay tuned!
As usuaL...gonna sign off wif Videoes...Enjoy~
超級星光大道 潘裕文 林志炫--離人 得到 22 分 (Have aLways Loved dis song...they sing untiL super got feeLing...:P)
He was third in the overaLL competition...*claps*
蕭敬騰(1) vs 楊宗緯(2) (新不了情)
楊宗緯 managed to wow everyone...LoLz...i'm impressed...(But he Later withdraw from the competition wiLLingLy (His own decision) for faLse reporting of age...so sad and wasted)
Look @ this video where he PKed with this chaLLenger 蕭敬騰
He said a reaLLie good statement in dis Vid...眼泪流下來, 就带表结束的開始...
CasaNova's TeaRs, 2030 Hours
Squall Leonheart...
*7:38 PM .
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Hey...
Dis is hot stuff...Hahaz...check out their singing...
Look out for this 2 uprising stars from Taiwan...esp 楊宗緯 (the one that sings with very painfuL expression...shy shy Like me 1...LoLz) powerful singing who can sing both Cao Ge and Fish Leong's songs equaLLy weLL...
Go check out his clips of other renditions from You Tube....
zara saLe...puLL and bear saLe...LoLz...bought a LiL of each...so end up freaking poor aLready...oh...did i mention adidas saLe...hahaz...
RecentLy heard dis Tanya song over the air waves...been wanting to embed...so here it is...the Lyrics is wonderfuLLy written...meaningfuL...
Planning a LiL trip in Aug...hahaz...i need a break from work...aLL work n no pLay makes Jack a duLL boy....
Lots of updates dis week!...but i'LL keep it short since...its Late n i'm about to cLose my eyes...:P
1st up...juz finished attending a training course on 7 Habits of HighLy Effective PeopLe last week...hahaz...its was a 1.5 days course heLd by my co...its nt much...but i was kinda touched by a video...it depicts about the moments in Life...cant remember the detaiLs...LoLz...short term again...
2ndLy...atrium saLes (the handLing)...juz ended at West MaLL today...Sales hasnt been dat great...stiLL ok...but i feLt dat i was abLe to manage it quite weLL...hahaz...so bu yao Lianz...:Pp
Hmm...another 1 coming up dis month!...no time to prepare...dis is gonna b a bz mth for me...somemore gonna change season....hai yoooo....so many things to do...so LiL time...!!!
3rd update...yup...as you wouLd hav guessed...SH's b day ceLebration! Had a fun dinner...hahaz...KL was in his usuaL drama papa mood again...teLLing us his break up gf...LoLz...the name aLso change Le...caLL jing4 Ling4 or something...next time i'LL ask for the name again!...make sure he nt teLLing Lies...
Further to Ceb's entry that KL couLd nt wait to c SH...i wouLd Like to add on dat on dat day...he wear untiL so shuai...Pink PoLo wif Jeans n Leather shoes...c?...diff peopLe gt diff treatment Loz...smaLL peas Like mi is dun care 1...:(
Yup...n the one finger incident....LoLz...dats quite funni too He cfm Like SH Lahz...sit beside her...den shy shy...LoLz...
Took pics dat day too...i particuLarLy Like dis one (gosh...to upLoad one pic in my bLog is sooooo troubLesome...hahaz...)
Dis pic gives me a Lot of different thinking....Everyone's way of Looking to another direction is different...some can be in very deep thought, very troubLed...or very reLaxed...very cheeky...hmm...much to ponder about...hahaz...
I went to c her bLog a few moments ago...her recent entry is very the emo...there r a Lot of hidden meanings in it...I'm trying to decipher...but its hard...somehow...hmmm...she's taken a very diff perspective in the way she c things aLready...i'm not sure if its gd or bad...
a Lot of times...we reaLLie say onLi but nv do...its not dat we do nt want to do...its juz pure Laziness...i guess Laziness is innate in everyone...
a Lot of times too...doing a LiL can reaLLie mean more den saying a Lot...Hoe many of us wouLd dare say dat we've aLready done a Lot....DefiniteLy nt me....
i have faiLed to understand my fren's needs and wants... i have faiLed to communicate wif my frenz via heart to heart.... i have faiLed to aLways b there for my fren in times of need... i have faiLed to not make my frenz angry wif mi... i have faiLed to brighten up my fren's day sometimes... i have faiLed to appreciate the LiL things that they aLways do for me... i have faiLed to share my probLems wif my frens... i have faiLed to reconciLe oLd frenz back together again...
i guess wen it comes to frenship (hmm...not to mention reLationships)...i have faiLed quite terribLy...